Cultivating Courage Beyond Approval

Applying “The Courage to be Disliked” to Daily Self-Love

Created by Meitzi C

“The Courage to Be Disliked,” written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, explores the principles of Adlerian psychology and philosophy through a unique dialogue format between a philosopher and a young man.

If you’ve read and appreciated Brené Brown’s “Braving the Wilderness,’” you will likely find resonance with the key theme of ‘The Courage to Be Disliked’: finding the courage to live true to yourself, despite potential disapproval or criticism from others.

One aspect that truly stood out is the concept, also rooted in Adlerian psychology, of treating each other horizontally instead of vertically — emphasizing equality and mutual respect in interpersonal relationships.

Not too long ago, I came across a post encouraging people to “make friends with people who speak different languages, come from different ethnic backgrounds, and belong to different social classes.” I was all smiles until it got to social classes. My initial reaction was, who are any of us to determine social classes, and who gets to set the benchmark for isolation.

That said, my intent of this content is to share several key points from “The Courage to Be Disliked” where we can apply to fostering a daily self-love lifestyle. For those of you who have read the book, I welcome your point of view! Be sure to share your perspective in the comment section.

Freedom from the Past

None of us should be defined by our past, and when I say ‘none of us,’ I mean you as well. Most of the time, when we cling to the past — consciously or subconsciously — we use it as an excuse to avoid personal evolution.

Vulnerably, I will use myself as an example. My ongoing mindset of avoiding romantic relationships, rooted in not having great experiences in that department, is that I set a goal not to have romantic relationships and use the fact that I have not had any positive experience in the past as my excuse to support my goal.

Taking Responsibility

Continuing with the personal example above, rather than placing blame on the negative experiences, I now take…